There are many kinds of children in the world. Every child is unique. Especially the children with a strong will, they are very talented. If you parent them well, they are most likely to be terrific people when they grow up. But Parenting the strong-willed children can be challenging. So we did research about the strong-willed children. In this article, you will know what are the strong-willed children, and we provide 13 tips for you to parent them better.
What Are the Strong-Willed Children?
Here are some signs of the strong-willed children：
- • They never give up if they do not agree.
- • They are not patient about waiting.
- • They ignore something if they are not interested.
- • They think about things under their own standard.
- • They want to know why they are supposed not to do something.
- • They insist on getting what they think they deserve.
- • They will do something slowly if they don’t want to.
- • They stomp their feet, throw themselves to the ground or show you how loud they can yell.
13 Tips for Parenting Strong-willed Children.
According to our research, we make up a list of how to parent the strong-willed children.
1. Offer Them Choices
Offering them choices will let them feel like the master of their own thoughts. but only offer choices you can accept and don’t let yourself get resentful. For example, “Do you want to go now or in 10 minutes? “
2. Do not Force Them
Defiance always comes as a consequence of force. If you keep very hard in position, your child will be more likely to defy you. Remind yourself that winning a battle with them will the relationship between you. You can say— “Ok, they can decide for themselves.” If they can’t, then ask what part of it they can decide, or find another way for them to meet their need.
3. Let Them Learn by Experience
They know something by experience. Experiencing is more effective to teach them. For example, if your children have some problems with hands-dexterity or preschool classes, telling them the boring knowledge is not effective, you can let them play Educational toys that can improve their dexterity, creativity in geometry and engineering.
4. Listen to Them
As parents, Most of us might reasonably think we know best. But your children have a strong will. They hold on to their positions, and they are trying to insist on something that is important for them. So listening carefully to them and thinking about their words will let you understand why they disobey you.
5. Be a Good Example
Do not just tell your children what to do. Show them what to do. Because we often learn by imitation. People will repeat the actions of others to know them and adsorb them into their own. Children are as well, they watch everything their parents do very carefully. So you should be the person you would like your children to be, do positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your children’s emotions. They will follow.
6. Let Them Run Themselves
Let them run their own activities as possible. Children who are more independent and in charge of themselves will have less need to be oppositional. And they will be responsible earlier.
7. Let Information from Themselves Change Their Mind
For example, they may resist you when you tell them to wear a jacket. But they will beg for a jacket once they get cold. It’s just hard for them to imagine how cold when they are in a warm house. Their feeling despends on their body, so naturally, they refused you. So let information from themselves change their minds and also tell them there is no shame of letting something change their minds.
8. Set Reasonable Expectations for Them
Do not break children’s will to let him accept your ideas. There is no need to prove you’re right. They are just children. You can set reasonable expectations for them and then explain to them for implementation. They will know what you want them to do, in the meanwhile, you should allow them to have their own opinions about it.
9. Use Routines and Rules Instead of Punishment
Use routines and rules, just like “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8 p.m. If you hurry, we’ll have time for two books,” or “In our house, we finish homework before screen time.” But they will not accept when they are punished. The more you punish your child, the more you put them into the unacceptable situation.
10. Show Them Respect and Empathy
Most of the strong-willed children fight for respect very much. If you respect them, they will be negotiable to obey you. And it makes them feel understood. If you find their points of view are wrong, you can still show them empathy of that feeling and offer other ways to suit their parts in your limits.
11. Build Connection with Them
Connection is most important for parenting because they will listen to you only if they feel connected, especially for strong-willed children. They will follow you when they love you and respect you. The connection will always be the most effective way to parent your strong-willed children.
12. Teamwork with Them
Working with them can help make the strong-willed child listen to you. A strong sense of integrity comes naturally to them and when they feel they are valuable members of the team, they will be willing to lower their position in the process. When you are communicating with them, use a tone of positivity and teamwork will be more productive and comfortable for them.
13. Find out What Leads to Their Action
Sometimes we just see their defiance, but if we know more about their needs, we can find out what they deeply want or they just possibly struggle with transitions. Try to be the one your children want you to be when they need you. For example, you can be the problem solver when your children make some mistakes which they can not handle instead of punishment
That’s all about the strong-willed children. If you fail to parent them at first, just don’t give up, the good outcome always comes after the hard part. For helping you to parent better, there are more certain parenting ways testified by successful parents.