Parenting style is the definition of all the ways you grow your child up. It somewhat can model your child’s life deeply, good or bad. So it is important for You to know which kind of parenting style you have and to become a better parent by making your parenting style healthy.
Diane Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley, published a convincing reference of parenting styles in the 1960s. She distinguished 4 parenting styles:
1. Permissive Parenting
- · Nearly have no rules and no limitations on children.
- · Often let children figure things out themselves.
- · Let children decide for themselves rather than give direction.
- · Warm and Nurturing.
- · Have little expectations of children
Permissive parents are lenient. They usually involve their children only when there is a big problem. They may not stick their own opinion, and they’re much more likely to be forgiving. They will allow children to do something if children beg or promise to be good. They usually act more like a friend than a parent. They often encourage their children to talk with them when they have problems, but they don’t make much effort into giving good advice for children.
Children in permissive parenting are more likely to be confused academically. They may have more behavior problems because they don’t have good directions and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may show much sadness. They are also at a higher risk for health problems, like tooth problems, because permissive parents don’t enforce good habits like letting children brush teeth every day.
2. Authoritarian Parenting
- · Restrict their children with strict rules and little negotiation.
- · Often educate children by punishment.
- · Communicate with their children most often.
- · Never explain their rules.
- · Seek obedience and nurture less.
- · Expect their children highly and be a little flexible.
Parents in this style seek obedience from their children but not negotiate with children. They also don’t let children handle problems and challenges. They just make the rules and implement rules without knowing children’s thoughts. Authoritarian parents use punishments for education, and they are more likely to make children feel sorry about the mistakes rather than teach children how to make better choices. They are not usually flexible for their expectation for children when things change.
Children with authoritarian parents prone to follow rules all the time. But they obey conditionally. It is not good for developing their self-esteem. because their opinions haven’t been considered. Most of them will become aggressive, they don’t think about how to do things better. they often focus on their anger toward parents. They may also prefer to lie to avoid punishment in the future.
3. Uninvolved Parenting
- · Let children do what they want with no particular discipline.
- · Lack of information or caring.
- · Nurture less.
- · have few or no expectations of children.
Parents in this parenting are more likely to have little idea of what their children are doing. They are prone to have few rules. They expect children to raise themselves. They don’t spend much time meeting children’s needs. They may be neglectful but not always intentional. they may not be able to care for children’s physical or emotional needs consistently. Sometimes uninvolved parents do not have knowledge about the development of their children. And at other times, they will be simply taken by other problems, like work, paying bills, and doing housework.
Children with uninvolved parents tend to have trouble in developing self-esteem. They are more likely to perform poorly in school. They also have frequent behavior problems and lack happiness. Because they do not get much guidance, nurturing, and attention from their parents.
4. Authoritative Parenting
- · Have clear and explained discipline.
- · Communicate frequently and properly with children.
- · Nurture more.
- · Have appropriate expectations and goals of children.
Authoritative parents have rules, they also explain rules to their children and consider children’s opinions as well. They care about their children’s feelings while making it clear that the adults are in charge. They put many efforts into preventing problems of behavior from their happening. They are prone to using positive discipline to strengthen good behavior.
Children in authoritative discipline are more likely to be happy and successful. They also prone to do well in making decisions and evaluating risks themselves, and they are most likely to be responsible when they grow up.
You may find sometimes your parenting way is not just one kind. It is normal for you to be authoritative sometimes and be uninvolved at other times. You don’t have to worry about that. Although apparently authoritative parenting is the best style, there are many good parenting ways you can take to be a good parent even if you have other parenting styles more. We know Being good parents are not easy and exhausting, but I believe you will become one of them.