These positive parenting tools invite us, as parents, to no longer view children as disobedient or annoying but as children who need support and who need to learn skills, they do not yet have (such as self-control). We could also make the same observation for parents: a parent who gets angry, who loses patience, who screams and who goes crazy is an adult who needs support … and tools to learn to do otherwise. In this poster, I offer 12 positive parenting tools to avoid getting upset about children. The more our toolkit is provided, the easier it will be for us as parents to do otherwise. Doesn’t popular wisdom rightly say that if the only tool we have is a hammer, we will see any problem as a nail.
Image and video source: pixabay, imgur
1. Say shorter sentences, just a word like “Computer! “
2.Saying things by singing, speaking like a robot or a stewardess, croaking like a frog or using the smurf language …
3.Capturing the child’s gaze and causing gentle physical contact (hand on the shoulder, hand in hand, smile …)
4.Play (e.g. dress the child as if they had become a baby again but always in a tone of humor, not of humiliation; put on the child’s little shoes, pretending we didn’t realize anything)
5. Reformulate what the child feels and says for him show empathy: “I can see that you are disappointed and that you would have preferred … It is true that it is frustrating. This is hard for you. “
6. Say what I need by expressing my emotions in a personal and authentic language (“for messages I”, “No messages, You” or “messages, we”): “I feel tense” (rather than saying “You get on my nerves” or “We don’t do this like that”
7.Getting out of a conflict by taking a break, listening to the child and then affirming adult needs with the intention that a common solution should be sorted out.
8.Refer to appropriate alternative activities of the adult point of view and interesting from the point of view of the child
9. Check if my “no” is negotiable or not; if it’s just of an old habit or actually of a rule full of make sense to me
10.Take a break (write in a diary, call a friend for a listening time, engage in creative work)
11. Identify the times and critical situations where the fires lead are common and establish a prevention plan
12. Invent a code / word / expression that indicates that time to take a break
Image and video source: pixabay, imgur
